“Oh but it’s apart of pregnancy”
This phrase was something said to me throughout my pregnancy and I thought it was about time to share what I went through…ps I did have a post about my pregnancy but because I was angry when I wrote it I took it down.
I dislike that pregnancy is just brushed off as a “oh, you’ll be fine” mentality. I know pregnancy is apart of life but there are feelings, emotions, and physical changes that change you, and there not always pleasant.
When I was pregnant, I was constantly sick, nauseous, and threw up almost 5-7 times an hour if I didn’t take zolfran.
Before I get into the details, I want you to understand something about me. I was (still am) a healthy women who ate healthy, exercised, hardly ever sick and very active. I was very confident and comfortable with who I was.I would work 35 hours, volunteer 10-15 hours and go to school on top of that. When I became pregnant I didn’t imagine I would become sick, and I truly did not want to be in bed everyday crying because I was in pain. I became hero to zero quickly. My stomach turned like I had the flu and there was nothing that took it away. I did find things to help “ease” the symptoms but it was still there.
As I went along in my pregnancy, I was hospitalized 5 times (which I know there are other women who have been to the hospital more than that), stayed in bed because every time I moved it was agonizing pain, couldn’t eat or drink anything, and I cried. I cried everyday and on and off throughout the night. This was my life and I know that many people don’t get it or feel that I should have sucked it up but I wasn’t joking nor was I going to sugar coat my pain or down play how I felt.
At the time, I was extremely angry at God and asked him over and over and over again to take this physical pain away but He spoke a verse to me every time I cried out and it was “my grace is sufficient enough..”
I despised 2 Corinthians 12:8-12 until I had the ability to understand why he was giving me this verse.
I needed to go through this pain to grow. I needed His grace to realize that He was there, guiding me because I was imperfect, hurting and needing growth. A growth I am now very appreciative and thankful for. I needed His grace through this season because I was weak..very weak. I said things I wasn’t proud of and hated that every time I tried to do anything I would throw up or be in pain. Pregnancy was very hard for me and no amount of ginger or home remedy could fix what happened.
When my due date rolled around, I had everything set to the way I wanted it but nothing, I mean absolutely nothing I wanted happened. I was disappointed in myself but now realize that I was much stronger of a women because I went through things I didn’t want to go through and I learned I was not in control. Looking back I can see where I was scared and how God supported me, my husband, my friends and family were there for me, and I am truly blessed.
I won’t fully understand what I went through and that’s okay I don’t need to but I am glad God didn’t take the pain away. My experience changed me for the better and in some ways I can’t express how it has. It’s a reminder of who I was, what I have now and that I have a beautiful happy baby boy to cherish more than ever. I have learned a lot through this season and although it hasn’t been easy I am learning to Praise God when it’s hard, be happy no matter what, and to keep going. I feel renewed and stronger from the experience and also love the verse I was given. I now have compassion where I lacked compassion before. I have the ability to love where I never thought I would. Also, I have said 2 Corinthians to multiple people so far who have needed to hear those words and have helped support them through their pain. Although I didn’t praise Him everyday for the pain then, I am more in love with who He is and desire to know Jesus more because of His Abounding Grace.
What was your pregnancy like? Was your similar to mine?