Secrets to Modern Modesty.

About 5 years ago, I became serious about being a Christian and started to wonder what a Modest woman was “supposed” to look like. I started to look at my appearance and decided to start purging anything risky. Now I didn’t want to lose my “Sexiness” but as a believer the devil made me believe I shouldn’t look sexy and I felt guilty for looking sexy for my husband. This is a complete and utter lie. God doesn’t want us flaunting our stuff but he also doesn’t want us looking like a sack of flour bags either. Once I felt better about my wardrobe, I started to look at my attitude and observer how others felt when we interacted. I know I’m not perfect and my heart is always fine tuning and I imaging it always will be.

Furthermore, I felt that as a mom of two boys, I wanted to make sure I modeled out what a Christian wife may look like. I believe that mothers set the table for who their kids will marry in life and the way you look and act matters! As a mom you would place good things on the table such as: flowers, beautiful table settings, and a course of meals just waiting to be eaten. The place you create is inviting and welcoming. You hope that when your little men grow up and pursue a woman, they will hopefully have idea of what a modest woman looks like. The woman they choose will either add to the table and enhance it with their presence or tear it down leaving wounds and scars. I want so badly for my boys to choose/meet modest woman as I know all to well what its like to lust after the wrong man. I know from experience that choosing the immodest man leads down a road of insecurity and even lead me to become borderline anorexic. My clothing choices matched my attitude as I was insecure, sad and depressed. I thought my appearance was what mattered and if I looked sexy then the guy, I was with should want to be with me. The harder I tried to look sexy the worse the situation became. In addition, I started to attract the attention of men who would not add life to my table.

So that brings me to the question “What is a modest Woman?” Even though I didn’t confine the question to just women; only women answered. This spikes my curiosity as I’m not sure why it played out that way. Although I could sit and assume why, I wonder if a man could give me more insight on that since I’m not a man. Anyway, what I found was the majority of women said it was a heart condition than what you wore. While clothing was mentioned as an importance it was emphasized that humbleness, a woman’s set worth or value, not seeking attention, and for believers to follow the guidance of Christ in the matter, where all qualities shown in a modest woman. Now I know its not limited there, as some other women thought outside the lines of attitude and clothing. Some women emphasized the relationship between a man and a woman, the culture, religion, equality of men and women and sadly the negative impact of how a culture sees modesty.

So, my conclusion is this, Modesty is how you act and impact others. It’s a uniqueness and sexiness all on its own. It’s something to be valued and not to be feared. Its cultural and creative. Its not displaying all the goods but not feeling guilty for looking beautiful for your husband or yourself, which is so important in a relationship and for individuality. I know its not something you can contain in a box or ever be perfect at but its something to be in constant pursuit of. And to me, modesty will always come down to how does Jesus see me and am I honoring him. Because to me that is what means the most.

“She is clothed with strength and honor, and she can laugh at the time to come.”

Proverbs 31:25

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