Everyday Is The Same

I’m sitting here wondering what is so unique about me. I wake up and do the same thing everyone else does which probably involves a mad dash to the bathroom, maybe brush my hair, get comfy clothes on and get ready for the day. I do the same things over and over and over again. I’m not unique to the world. Everything I am doing has been done before by someone better. Nothing I do is unique. Not from what I say to what I do. So it baffles me and I ask myself often what real reason does any stranger have to want to follow me on social media?? I mean heck some of my closest friends and family don’t follow me. But why is it so important for me to be unique and to “shine.” In addition, I caved and did a social media train on Instagram. As I was looking at the accounts I noticed a trend. Moms following moms, yet no one except a handful were above 3,000. And let me tell you..their accounts are flawless!! There is every reason in the world to be following these women yet they still have under 3,000 followers. Then there’s me. My insta is shy of 25 posts because I keep archiving the rest and I have no skill in this filter world or understanding why people follow to unfollow or friends in close social sphere want you to follow them but they do not do the favor back.

Truth is… I can’t conjure up something to be impressive. I can only be me. I’ve tried doing a lot of things but they all lead back to failure. I started macrame and I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be doing it. I tried to cook and take photos of it but that failed. I’m fit but still plump. I am a great mom and wife but that is only unique to us. I’m not a advice giver, bible reader everyday, slam something important kinda person. I do basic things and say basic things. I think I succeed at failing and complaining. I think it’s really failure. I feel I have nothing big to offer BUT the sheer fact I am successful at failing. I’m successful at complaining too…and I feel like if I have to break my back to get to success then maybe that’s a good sign the world is telling me to shut up and stop. Anyway, I’ll be over here crying and contemplating what I should be doing in life…and if someone says “BUt YoUR A MOm & thATS aLl THat SHOULD maTTeR.” Please stop. Being a mom is a pleasure and is encoded in my DNA. What I have written above is about me personally. If you have any thoughts on what I should do in life (besides being a fantastic homemaker) I’m open to suggestions…cause I got nothin grand here. Maybe I’m just viewing myself through cracked lens. I just want to be honest so cheers to my 10:00 post. Just don’t stay here. Get up and move forward. I don’t tell you all this for pity or because I’m being hateful to myself. If anything I hope this post encourages you because we all go through phases where we feel inadequate or not special.

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