You know a lot of my moments with God don’t happen on some magical mountain top. They happen in the four walls of my home on the bathroom toilet. I don’t know if it’s just a vulnerable moment or what but man a thought that God gave me this morning brought me to tears.
I went into the bathroom sat down and this thought came into my head “ Lord I really would love to have another baby.” Before I knew it a sweet peace flooded over me as he spoke the next few words. “[Bethany] I wouldn’t let you in the state your in. You have to heal before I let you get pregnant again.”
The last four years —probably longer to be honest—I’ve dealt with some kind of physical challenge. I’ve recently found healing for a few of those things and I feel 95.9% better. But I’m still healing. God is a good father that knows what’s best for us even when we don’t. It was such a sweet moment of release and realization that everything God does is for our own good. He doesn’t only want healing for me, he wants restoration. He wants it more than I do.
With my mentality, I would have worked till I dug my own grave. That’s not what God wants though. He doesn’t want you grinding your gears till you die. Through his little moment today it unbound some bitterness I had been feeling. It gave me peace. He really is a sweet father, a merciful father….a caring father.